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Tarter sauce

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HELP!!! My fish are addicted to tarter sauce. It's all my fault. I was inhaling the fumes of the outhouse again to catch a buzz. I went into the house, looked into my aquarium, and i'll be darned if my fish didnt look like Big Macs with a fish patty. I dumped tarter sauce in it and prepared for a meal fit for a king. Thats when it went all wrong. The fish consumed the sauce before I could catch them, so I added more...and more...and more. They went crazy for it and now I ran out. They are not happy. Just last night 3 robbed a grocery store for tarter sause. I will never bring them with me again, I promise! Now they're snorting the pebbles on the aquarium floor. What should I do. Please help, I'll be in the outhouse if ya need me.

 

P.S. do you think the pebbles would work for a person too? Should I crush them first? What color works best?

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